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Post by [G]oody^^ on Dec 3, 2006 5:17:03 GMT -5
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On Sears hairdryer:Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. *printed on bottom of the box* (Too late! You lose!)(I love it: food to piss you off.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space? Or underground?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning )
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (DDDUUUHHH)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (What is this, a home castration kit?)
On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
On Sears hairdryer:Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: Do not turn upside down. *printed on bottom of the box* (Too late! You lose!)(I love it: food to piss you off.)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Or pets! What's for dinner?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space? Or underground?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Not to mention the nut who wrote the warning )
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (DDDUUUHHH)
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (What is this, a home castration kit?)
On a childs superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
